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Relationship Tips
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Relationship Tips for ESTPs

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Introduction

Relationships are a continual interplay of giving, receiving, and compromising. Although every MBTI type has its strengths and weaknesses, your type need not determine your behavior. Moving outside your comfort zone opens up the opportunity for healthy personal and interpersonal development. There are certain human needs that are universal and this makes it possible for any two types to connect with one another. If two people are willing to lower their defenses and genuinely attend to each other’s needs, then the relationship has a great chance for success and happiness.

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Tips by Partner Type

đź’‘ ESTP + ESTP

  • Enjoy the ride!
  • Figure out ways to share responsibilities so that one partner doesn’t feel overwhelmed and resentful.
  • Seek outside help for doing things that neither partner may enjoy or be good at doing, such as financial planning.
  • Try to look down the road and imagine how your lives may be different so you can anticipate future needs.
  • Be willing to be vulnerable to each other. Consider getting outside help if you have problems you can’t solve yourselves.
  • Take turns being the “grown-up.” Pull your own weight so the division of labor is fair.

đź’‘ ESTP + ESTJ

  • Remember to thank your partner for all the many things he or she does to keep your home organized and your life running smoothly.
  • Be willing to initiate and complete household chores. Pick up after yourself and put things away.
  • Respect your partner’s routines and rituals. Don’t interrupt or belittle his or her cherished practices and schedules.
  • Watch your tendency to joke and take everything lightly. Be serious when your partner wants to discuss important issues. Maintain eye contact rather than constantly scanning the room.
  • Try to be on time or call if you’re running late. Follow through on commitments.
  • Try not to surprise your partner by bringing home unexpected guests. Check with your partner before you make or accept invitations.

đź’‘ ESTP + ISTJ

  • Respect your partner’s routines and rituals. Don’t disrupt his or her schedules.
  • Give your partner as much warning as possible when you change plans. Don’t spring things on your partner and expect a positive reaction.
  • Be patient with your partner’s longer adjustment time. Listen supportively if he or she complains a bit while making a transition.
  • Strive to be prompt and not to leave your partner waiting or wondering where you are.
  • Watch your tendency to be impulsive and insensitive to your partner’s genuine fears for your safety and security.
  • Don’t put your partner on the spot publicly. Watch your own flamboyancy and irreverence around your partner.

đź’‘ ESTP + ESFJ

  • Never dismiss your partner’s feelings, even if you don’t understand them; listen sympathetically.
  • Volunteer to help out around the house, even if the chore isn’t yours to do. Ask what you can do that would be most useful — then do it!
  • Respect your partner’s need for order. Keep common areas clean and tidy, especially when other people are visiting.
  • Try to be on time and follow through on projects you start.
  • Be gentle, appreciative, and concerned. Share your feelings. Compliment your partner on his or her looks and accomplishments.
  • Focus on the positive before discussing anything negative.

đź’‘ ESTP + ISFJ

  • Respect your partner’s need for order. Pick up after yourself and initiate household chores.
  • Respect your partner’s routines and rituals.
  • Strive to be prompt and dependable. Always keep your promises.
  • Try not to change plans suddenly. Give your partner as much warning about changes as you can.
  • Be patient, gentle, and sympathetic. Listen supportively and encourage your partner to share his or her frustrations with you. Don’t try to fix your partner’s problems.
  • Give your partner plenty of time alone. Don’t pressure him or her to accompany you to every social event, and be sure to introduce him or her to compatible people when he or she does go with you.
  • Watch your tendency to be flirtatious. Be careful not to embarrass your partner in public.

đź’‘ ESTP + ISTP

  • Ask fewer questions, then wait patiently for your partner’s answer.
  • Never interrupt or finish your partner’s sentences.
  • Respect your partner’s need for privacy. Give him or her plenty of time alone.
  • Never share personal information about your partner with other people.
  • Be willing to pass on social activities and enjoy quiet time with your partner.
  • Tell your partner you appreciate how attentive he or she is when you’re together.

đź’‘ ESTP + ESFP

  • Be calm and logical when discussing problems or things you wish were different.
  • Try not to overreact or exaggerate.
  • Don’t withdraw and become silent. Explain why you are upset and let your partner know you need time alone.
  • Respect your partner’s competence. Never undermine your partner in public.
  • Try to explain the logical reasons for your reactions. Don’t assume that your partner is unfeeling simply because he or she doesn’t feel as you do.

đź’‘ ESTP + ISFP

  • Be gentle and sympathetic. Slow down and use a soft voice.
  • Compliment your partner on his or her looks. Recognize the effort your partner makes to show you his or her love.
  • Give your partner time to think things through before expecting an answer or response. Respect your partner’s privacy and need to spend time alone.
  • Don’t pressure your partner into doing things socially or put him or her on the spot in public.
  • Listen attentively and sympathetically when your partner is sharing his or her concerns and feelings. Don’t interrupt or try to fix problems right away.
  • Be willing to forgo social opportunities to spend quiet time alone with your partner doing something you both enjoy.
  • Share your feelings. Be willing to be serious and not make everything into a joke.

đź’‘ ESTP + ENTJ

  • Compliment your partner on his or her professional accomplishments and the many large and daunting projects he or she takes on with skill and confidence.
  • Ask your partner’s opinion and advice. Never question his or her competence in public.
  • Pay attention when your partner is talking about something of interest to him or her. Maintain eye contact rather than scanning the room.
  • Don’t count on your partner to keep you on schedule, then complain about too many reminders and too much nagging.
  • Work at being punctual and accountable. Finish some of the projects you start.

đź’‘ ESTP + INTJ

  • Respect your partner’s need for quiet time alone to think things through in depth.
  • Ask for your partner’s views on conflicts. Seek out his or her perspective to better understand the causes and dynamics of conflicts.
  • Respect your partner’s need for predictability, order, and ritual, especially after a busy and taxing day.
  • Don’t spring things, especially social events, on your partner.
  • Be careful not to get overextended by activities outside the home. Protect the quiet time you share with your partner.
  • Avoid being critical or flippant. Be sure to take your partner’s concerns seriously.
  • Try to educate yourself about some of your partner’s interests and passions.

đź’‘ ESTP + ENTP

  • Appreciate and encourage your partner’s innovative ideas. Don’t undermine them by requiring proof that they’ll work.
  • Don’t respond too quickly. Be willing to give even far-fetched ideas a fair hearing.
  • Make an effort to learn about the projects your partner finds fascinating.
  • Ask your partner’s advice on the implications of actions or how he or she sees the future unfolding.
  • Be willing to discuss theories and implications from time to time.

đź’‘ ESTP + INTP

  • Respect and protect your partner’s privacy and independence. Don’t be possessive or constantly question your partner’s activities.
  • Don’t intrude on your partner when he or she needs time alone to think or work on his or her ideas or projects.
  • Appreciate and compliment your partner on his or her many great ideas and original innovations.
  • Don’t pressure your partner to accompany you to social events. Check with your partner before inviting people home.
  • Listen carefully and attentively when your partner is talking. Don’t interrupt or finish his or her sentences. (A brief period of silence doesn’t always mean your partner is really finished.)
  • Never publicly question your partner’s competence or put your partner on the spot. Slow down and spend quiet time with your partner.

đź’‘ ESTP + ENFJ

  • Share your feelings, thoughts, reactions, and concerns in a loving and intimate way.
  • Try to follow through on commitments and keep your promises. Resist the urge to give in to the temptation to follow your impulses, especially when your partner is counting on you.
  • Be gentle and diplomatic when discussing problems. Praise and compliment rather than criticize.
  • Be patient with your partner’s complicated and dramatic stories. Don’t dismiss your partner’s feelings as overreactions.
  • Listen sympathetically to your partner’s problems and concerns. Don’t try to fix problems or be dismissive about the intensity of your partner’s feelings.
  • Avoid too many surprises, especially those that require your partner to adapt his or her plans. Call before bringing people home for dinner.
  • Do your share of the household chores. Pick up after yourself and finish projects you start.

đź’‘ ESTP + INFJ

  • Take an interest in your partner’s passions. Be willing to attend events or read books he or she recommends.
  • Be considerate and try to anticipate how your partner may perceive your actions. Be willing to accommodate his or her needs and feelings.
  • When your partner feels stressed and overworked, lighten the load by doing household chores, watching the children, or providing him or her with some uninterrupted time to finish a project.
  • Respect your partner’s value system. Don’t put your mate down or tease him or her about his or her values and opinions.
  • Encourage intimacy by sharing your emotions.
  • Express your appreciation in words and actions. Take the initiative and ask what’s going on, then listen without critiquing or trying to fix the problem.
  • Be considerate of your partner’s space. Respect his or her need for order and neatness.
  • Give your partner time to get used to changes in plans.

đź’‘ ESTP + ENFP

  • Try to be sensitive to your partner’s needs. Be patient and gentle.
  • Resist the urge to criticize or immediately point out factual errors in your partner’s ideas.
  • Express your appreciation of your partner’s creativity. Support his or her need for artistic expression.
  • Understand your partner’s desire for close and deep friendships with friends and family members, even if you don’t particularly like them.
  • Let your partner know in words and actions how much you appreciate him or her.
  • Realize that your partner has deep feelings about many things but may have trouble communicating them right away. Listen supportively when your partner shares his or her feelings.
  • Give your partner plenty of physical contact, such as cuddling, that doesn’t necessarily lead to sex.

đź’‘ ESTP + INFP

  • Share your feelings and intimate thoughts as much as you can.
  • Show your love and concern for your partner and family members.
  • Never dismiss your partner’s feelings, even if you don’t understand or share them.
  • Listen attentively and supportively when your partner is sharing or is upset. Avoid scanning the room or appearing distracted or uninterested.
  • Be willing to try some of the more unusual or emotionally risky experiences your partner suggests. Stay open to the possibility of getting the help of a therapist to better understand and communicate with each other.
  • Be willing to turn down some social invitations to spend quiet time alone with your partner.

Keep exploring this personality type:

✨ View ESTP Ego Development →